Just This Once
by Kazzmonkey
Summary: Zidane comes back early one night after being stood up. Blank tries to take his mind off the barmaid. First fanfiction ever for anything, so don't be surprised if it sucks. MM Implied sex, BlankxZidane MarcusBlank unrequited, Angsty, Possible OOCness


**Just This Once**

**Kazz**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. If I did, final fantasy 9 would be like a dating sim or something XD Don't sue, I have no money.**

**Fandom: Final Fantasy 9**

**Rating: PG-13 (mentions of hawt gay secks. Nothing graphic though. And cussing)**

**Pairing: Blank + Zidane, ZidanexBlank, Marcus + Blank**

**Time Frame: Before the ff9 plot.**

**Warnings: This story contains Shounen-Ai/Yaoi if you don't like it, then don't read it. Mentions of sex but nothing too graphic. Angsty. OOC-ness. Unrequited love.**

**Spoilers: none**

**Time: I dunno, maybe an hour... tops.**

**Summery: Zidane comes back early one night after being stood up. Blank tries to take his mind off the barmaid. First fanfiction ever for anything, so don't be surprised if it sucks. MM Implied sex, BlankxZidane MarcusBlank unrequited, Angsty, Possible OOCness**

**A/N: Howdy, uhm, this is my first ever fanfiction. It was brought on by a final fantasy highschool rp I'm in on livejournal. I'm not good at writing graphic stuff so I kinda skipped the details on stuff. If you're interested in joining the rp please contact me, we're always looking for fresh meat. (Its not a yaoi/yuri thing so yeah. I think I'm the only one with a gay person. And I'm not entirely sure they know he's gay yet. XD;;) Blank is so under-portrayed I figured there's no evidence against his being gay so nyah. Okay, so I've taken up enough of your time. R/R please no flames.**

Blanks POV

I sighed, leaning on the doorframe looking in at the object of my affection. Zidane was busily readying for his date that night. He'd managed to convince a random girl at the bar that he could show her a good time. I had no doubt he could, though I felt as though it was somehow wrong. Zidane finished and stood before me with that beautiful smile brightening his features.

"How do I look Blank?"

_wonderful, exquisite, gorgeous_

"You look fine kid," I replied with a smile. Sure I wished Zidane would put that much effort into his looks for me, not some random barmaid.

"Good, this one's quite a catch. You should go out with us. I'm sure we can find yah a date," something about the way Zidane said this assured me he didn't really want his presence there. I sighed inwardly; Zidane didn't notice.

"Naw, I've got stuff I have to do tonight too." I stepped out of the doorway and with a smile sent Zidane off to pick up his date. It hurt. It hurt alot to see Zidane go to another's side every other night, but I wouldn't say anything. I'd never tell Zidane just what I was thinking as Zidane regailed every detail of the date he'd just come home from. I'd play the good friend, no, the brother. Lusting after Zidane was incestious and sickening, but I can't change the way I feel. Nothing could change the way I felt for the blonde-haired boy. So every night I'd smile and encourage, and when Zidane came home brimming with stories about how quickly the girl put out the night before I'd laugh and congratulate him on being quite the ladies man. Then when I was sure he wouldn't notice I curled up on my bed and cried myself to sleep. It never changed, well actually it did. For a while Marcus would come in and talk to me, sometimes he didn't even have to. Just his presence made me feel like even if I didn't have Zidane I still had my "big brother" to help me through times of trouble. But he stopped coming. I think he realized how weak I was, how disgusting it was that I loved a teammate, not only that, but a male teammate. After he stopped coming things got worse. Not a single night that Zidane was away did I sleep well, always I was awake half the night crying. Every night ended this way.

Zidane had left to get his date and woo her into the bed. He'd never spare me a passing glance, not in that way. And why should he? I'm fucking hideous. Honestly, covered in scars and skin that isn't my own, who could be attracted to this? I wasn't given as long to dwell on this as I usually was as Zidane returned home much earlier than I had anticipated. Normally he would return in the wee hours of the morning but here it was barely an hour since he left. I quickly wiped my tears away, no reason for him to think I was crying. I smiled at him; he looked downtrodden to say the least.

"She decided she didn't want me," was all that Zidane said before turning to his list of phone numbers. "There's got to be someone willing to go out." He flipped through the long list and sighed coming to the end. I wondered why he was so eager, then I asked him. "Its frustrating! I was looking forward to getting some tonight. I mean come on!" I bit my lip. Did I dare propose what I'd wanted to do for so long? I did apparently.

"You know... if you're that eager. I could... help you out."

Zidane looked at me for moment obviously considdering it. I was shocked to say the least. Surprised that he was desperate enough to consider this. "Fine. But only because I'm absolutely desperate. I DON'T like guys that way."

I smirked wondering how true that was. I had always wondered if he might like guys too. He didn't seem to be too put off by having to kiss me on stage. Heh, I love the times Zidane's affeminate body type earned him a female role. Especially when I was to play his, or rather his character's, lover. Mustn't confuse him and his characters however. On stage everyone has to leave who they are behind. That could be why he had never seemed repulsed by the stage kisses. Either way, one of my fantasies was about to be fulfilled.

"Just this once Blank. This isn't going to turn into a regular occurance."

Marcus POV

I watched as Blank just stood there, unable to take his eyes off of Zidane. I knew he had feelings for him. I knew that Zidane was oblivious, or at least acted that way. I've always been closest to Blank, though I haven't known him as long as I have Cinna, he and I just got along so well. Maybe that's how it started. I used to try to help Blank through nights when Zidane was off with some chick fucking like rabbits. I used to let him vent. He'd loved Zidane so long, it certainly didn't bother me... much. It really didn't until I started to fall for him. Despite the fact that his most radiant smiles were reserved for the youngest member of the troupe, I got a couple thrown my way whilst being company while he was down. He regarded me as a big brother. I wish I could've kept up with that. Soon though, I had to stop "just happening" to walk in shortly after Zidane left. I didn't want to abandon him but I couldn't watch him like that. He was always so upset. I started to resent Zidane for making Blank like that. I knew it was wrong to harbor a hatred of another member of Tantalus, so I stopped. I stopped sitting on the bed with Blank in silence, with only his sniffles breaking the comfortable quiet. I stopped talking to him in soft tones, trying to make him realize that he had me. He had me to talk to.

Now I stand here watching Blank watch Zidane. He doesn't seem to notice me, neither of them do. I watch Blank laugh and try to hide the tears I know are inside. I watch him sag when the door closes, ending their conversation. I watch him flop back onto his bed and put his arm over his eyes. I suddenly feel like I'm intruding on something. I feel slightly voyeristic, so I leave. I flop back onto my own bed and wait for the inevitable sobs to bleed through the paper thin walls. I fight the urge to go comfort him, to cease his tears. Suddenly I hear the door open and Zidane's voice.

"She decided she didn't want me."

Ouch. That would have to hurt. But I didn't spend much time feeling sorry for him, remembering all the pain he caused Blank. Though, to be fair, he didn't _really_ lead on Blank either. They're conversation was quiet, so quiet that I couldn't catch much of it.

"You know... if you're that eager. I could... help you out."

I sighed. _"Blank, you sound so nervous." _Zidane didn't seem to notice that quality of the boys voice, how could he? He didn't know the subtle differences in Blank like I did.

"Fine. But only because I'm absolutely desperate. I DON'T like guys that way."

_"Hes... gonna do it? No way. No way. Blank was supposed to get over Zidane and ... and ... he and I..." _Thats not true. I should be happy for him. Blank has wanted this for so long. I can't help it though. Zidane shouldn't just decide to fuck Blank because he needs release. Zidane didn't love Blank. Zidane didn't love anyone he fucked. I'm not sure Zidane knows what love is. Blank does. I do.

Blank's POV

It was good. The sex I mean. I'd been waiting for it for so long, and it only increased my feelings for him. Now that it was over we lay in silence a few moments before he looks at me with a look saying 'aren't you going to go to your own bed?' I understand that look, I had hoped that he wouldn't think about it and I could sleep here, with him by my side. I can't stay here though. I don't want to anger him or anything. I feel myself wince as I sit up. God it hurts. Zidane wasn't used to guys, he didn't realize how much preperation had to be put in just so I don't get hurt to bad. I told him he couldn't be too rough, because thats dangerous, and thankfully he listened. I smiled down at him as he was already falling asleep. I crossed the room to my bed. I vaguely wondered if Marcus and Cinna had heard us from the other room. We weren't exactly loud about it, well, I did yelp a bit when he drove in the first time, but these walls were pretty thin. Naw, its late. They're probably asleep already. I sat on my bed and winced at the slight pain. _"Sleep it off Blank."_

Even if it was only this once. At least I had some experience to add into my fantasies.

End


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